So I'm not really getting anywhere with this Tanner case at the moment: took a long drive home, ended up in some gay bar because my tyre got slashed.  Found Greg there - he seemed in a shitty little mood - but what can you do?  After a while, I gave up and came home.

And now, I'm here, on my own.

I'm sure I promised myself I wouldn't do this any more.

But, let's face it, who would want to be here with me?  Grissom doesn't even look at me any more: I feel we've really grown apart, I couldn't even tell you what was happening in his life any more.  Even Hank broke up with me for no apparent reason.  I just kinda wish he'd told me what was going on, you know?

Guess that's just the way.

Sara

I've been working a case lately: we've got a dead guy, and a girl who pushed him minutes before he fell through a mirror.  Obviously, you can see my suspicions but it's all proving a little difficult.  I don't think she's done it - the evidence doesn't suggest that she actually did anything - but it's difficult to prove.

The worst bit, though, is that she was an abuse victim.  This guy beat the hell out of her on a couple of occasions, from what I've gathered, and all I can think about are my parents.  About the way my mother turned on my father that night.  About the anger, and the pain, and the repercussions.  I just feel so sorry for this girl, and I think I'm getting in over my head... but I just feel so bad.  I can only imagine what it is she - and my mother, and every other woman this has happened to - go through, mentally and physically and emotionally.

I haven't interviewed her: I designated it to Nick because I know I couldn't have done it impartially.  But I want to meet her, this Lexi Stranhope.  Properly.

Sara

I sometimes think I'm a little too quiet.  I guess I've always been this way: I just get on with the job at hand, without making a fuss.  There's just no point, really.  If everything's done and away, you can get back to what it is you want to do.  Whatever that may be.

Grissom's accused me of being too dull in the past.  Of... not having anything I'm interested in, and not committing to anything.  Not that he's given me the chance.  But that aside, I guess he's kind of right: I work, I eat, I sleep - if I'm lucky.

So I'm adding a new level to my life.  I'm keeping this journal, and I'm turning things around.  If I don't break my work-eat-sleep habit? I'll end up in a lonely place.  I don't want to be lonely anymore.